Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
