I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
