I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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