She is in my trunk
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish my penis had a tongue
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
