He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
