so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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