I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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