Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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