goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm at about main and main street
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
