I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
