Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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