I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There r osticjed everywhere
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize