; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
worst night to have a conscience
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
