that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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