Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize