i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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