i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
