We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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