Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
did you just send me my own nude
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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