A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
