Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Farmville is her only friend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
