Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
