and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
