I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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