We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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