I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize