i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
