I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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