butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
