Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
