I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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