Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
