Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
