____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
