i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They took my balls.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
