I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
