blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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