how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
