My nipple is on Facebook.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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