new low.... made out with someone while peeing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
