So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
