so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
