Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
