Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
