If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
