She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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