Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize