I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
