Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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