she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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