I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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