So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize