I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
