On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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