I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
