Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
