If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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