k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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