We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
