How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
