And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
