Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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