If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
