You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
