I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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