Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
