1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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