Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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