uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Boobs are out for the taking
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
