Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
