Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
