it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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