Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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