Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
even my farts smell like vagina
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
