Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
