I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
