apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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